now i know why i became what i already was.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
