I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
