so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
