I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
