I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
