Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
