How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Randomize
