My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
