I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
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