I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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