Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize
