O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I feel like death gave me a hand job
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
