oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize