Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Floor bacon is actually really good
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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