White coat. Heels.
Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Randomize
