there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
