birth control should be required to get into college
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
