Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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