Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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