Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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