I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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