That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
