so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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