i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
