why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Randomize
