Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
