I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Randomize
