Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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