So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Randomize
