I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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