i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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