You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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