He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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