so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
