The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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