She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
