Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
