she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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