your room smells of hookers.
And success
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
