I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
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