Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
