Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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