My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I deserve this hangover.
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