It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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