singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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