oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Randomize
