This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
