Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Randomize
