Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
