Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
